Lil Wayne Yeah I got the right to put up a fight but not quite cause you cut off my light But my sight is better tonight and I might See you in my nightmare Oh how did you get there Cause we were once a fairytale But this is fair well
Kanye West I got my life and its my only one I got the night, I’m running from the sun So goodnight, I made it out the door (door door door door) After tonight, there will be no return After tonight, I’m taking off on the road I’m taking off on the road Kanye West lyrics on www.lyrics-celebrities.ane
katips.com
And that you know (that you know) Tell every one that you know That I don’t love you no more And that’s one thing that you know That you know!
Kanye West OK I’m back up on my grind You, do you and I’m just gone do mine You, do you cause I’m just gone be fine OK I got you out my mind
The night is young, the drinks is cold The stars is out, I’m ready to go You always thought I was always wrong Well know you know Tell everybody everybody that you know Tell everybody that you know That I don’t love you no more And that’s one thing that you know That you know
Lil Wayne I got the right to put up a fight But not quite cause you cut off my light But my sight is better tonight and I might See you in my nightmare Oh but how did you get there Cause we were once a fairytale But this is fair well yeaah
Baby girl I’m finished I thought we were committed I thought we were cemented How I thought we meant it Now we just forgetting Now we just resenting The clouds in my vision Look how high I be getting And it’s all because of you
Girl we through You think your sh!t don’t stink but you are Mrs. P you And I don’t see you with me no more Now tell everybody that you know That you know
Kanye West That you know Tell everybody that you know That I don’t love you no more And that’s one thing that you know That you know That you know Tell everyone that you know That I don’t love you no more And that’s one thing that you know That you know
Okay so I'm a homeowner! Yeah its a trailer....not the best but I still will make it home. To those who say or think "trailer trash"... a) Go to our property at Lake Pomme De Terre. If we can make that one look that good, I can do the same with mine. b) still thinkin trailer trashy? Stay the **** out of my life then.
I'm not saying its my dream home by any means.....but it will be so much better than renting!
My mom's doin me a HUGE favor and buyin this for me for $2500. She says its a gift, but she's getting paid back in time by me, whether she likes it or not, lol. (Deal with it Mom lol i know you read these & THANKS again btw)
In other news I really dont know if I'm ever talking to Nick again. I was trying really hard but after this, I'm done. I'm happy that he pissed me off though. I was tired of caring about him and not being able to explain why....well he blew that COMPLETELY. If the time comes in a few months or years where I change my mind, so be it. I'm not a psychic..... Until that hypothetical time, I'm done.
And I still don't trust Jess completely at the moment because of....well, its between me & her. But if all goes well, our trust will get built back up. Our friendship has survived much worse than this. Her & I are on better terms than we have been in months, though, which is greath......lol great......that was too good a typo to delete LMAO.
Oh, and the "its complicated" thing? We're not going out. But we will be when he's home; we are waiting for each other. He's in the Army, in Iraq and I can't put myself through another long distance relationship.....I mean I could but I don't want to. Plus he just ended things w/ another girl. I am NO ONE'S rebound girl, lol. The only reason its even on there is cuz a guy on here keeps bugging me and he KNOWS I'm not interested. I'm pretty sure he took the hint though. Thank God.
Oh yeah-- YES, I've met him in person. We went to school together lol. You crazy cooks.
Today I'm using the blog as a means to control my anger. I can have a tantrum here and no one will care. There's no rubber room I can go to for me to just scream and kick and bounce around the walls while I have a tantrum, sooooo....my tantrum is here.
If you worry about this...you shouldn't....it's healthy to get anger out.
This seemed like a better option than drinking myself into oblivion.......yeah...blog is definitely the better option....i got shit to do today, man!
Enough intro.
... ... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OMIGOD. I just want to reach inside myself and take the part of me that cares and rip it into F*&^ing shreds right now! I'm SICK OF CARING so MUCH! it doesn't get me ANYWHERE! i've even tried to just turn myself into a total CUNT...a BITCH....I have tried to turn myself into something abominable that everyone hates and ya know why??? if i'm a BITCH then I won't CARE and i can STOP GETTING HURT.........but it doesn't work and no matter what you do....no matter how hard you try it's all for nothing. i'm done, i'm fucking done. there's a part of me that wants to run away....even though I know it won't help why can't i take the easy way out? this good girl role isnt all its cracked up to be, i hate it...............there's nothing in it for me at the end of the day. after everything i've tried, there is nothing. you do the right thing and there's nothing. you say there's knowledge that you did the right thing.....and i guess that is correct but KNOWING that i did the DAMN RIGHT THING is NOT ENOUGH ANYMORE! I NEED MORE i dont care how selfish that sounds!....god i wish my lies to myself could be convincing! i do care.....and i can't stop caring......i just want to stop. please please please make it stop. i want it to be done....i'm sick of it and i'm ready for something new......i'm ready for something new or i am ready for the pay-off , i know its supposed to come at the end.....but i'm not gonna end my life to get it....that lesson's learned......and this one should be too i guess.
my life....my wants, my goals.... are very very conflicted right now. i really think i'm going crazier than usual. if you're in my life and you cant deal with that OH WELL because YOU'RE NOT WHAT I NEED.
backstabbers --get the hell away from me cuz you're disgusting, sick-minded people and i will never comprehend how you live with yourselves knowing what you do to people.
yeah...when the people that you trusted for so long are suddenly gone...or different...then it kinda sucks to do shit alone now doesnt it? you dont know what you got til its gone? whatever. i knew what i had so what does that say about me? that i'm a stupid fuck-up for losing it? that it hurts less when i lost it cuz i knew about it while it was there? nope! both wrong......if you know the answer...what it DOES say about me...... i would SINCERELY love to hear it.
Of course I want what I can't have. The only 2 guys I could honestly picture myself being with are taken. It sucks that they like me too! And that they keep flirting? Well... it's making the whole homewrecker role look really tempting.
It sucks being the good girl.
Of course....they're not the only guys in the world....but still. There is one more. Things remain to be seen with him.
And outside of boys? I'm sick of waiting for my muse.....so you could say I'm hunting for it. Or a nicer term would be I'm just reading outside of my usual stuff. Now that I've typed that it doesn't seem easily understandable to an outsider.
.......................
Ah well. You'll live.
-Angela / Ducky / SiBBiE / Smudges / K*****
ps- Random & completely unrelated selfish thought: What the FUCK did I do to deserve being treated like this by certain people? (you know me...no names, but.....UGH!)
